Tonight I've been hit with a big dose of reality. You never realize how much you take for granted life, until you hear and know of someone who doesn't have much time left. Well tonight I went to San Jose to serve as designated driver for my dad. What he thought was just a random hangout with his friends turned out to be a party for his godson. Like any Filipino party, this one lasted long - full of food, children, and karaoke. The whole entire time I kept on complaining how I didn't want to be there and how I wanted to go home. I was angry that I had to be there with people I didn't know, and I was still suffering with allergies or my cold. Overall, I was in a lousy mood. I see the birthday boy and ask the customary question of how old he's turning - 19, someone informs me. I reply with my "oh cool, I'm 19 too, do you go to college?" as if generalizing that everyone the same age as me goes to college. I thought he nodded his head - he never really gave me an answer. So I guess I gave up on trying to talk to him. I thought he just couldn't be bothered with talking to me. Someone mentioned he was sick, and I found it surprising that people kept on doting on him - wondering why it was so when he was just gong through a perceived ordinary cold. The evening progressed. I was bored out of my mind and just waiting for my dad to tell us we could go home. During the ride back,  my dad informs me how the birthday boy has cancer. How he's going through chemo, and that he might not have much left. How he tires easily and cries, and how his parents are severely distressed about their son's condition.

When my dad told me this bit of information, I just reverted back to my previous encounter with him. I wish I hadn't asked him if he went to college. I replayed it over and over in my head. I took it for granted that he was just 19. I automatically assumed that he was like any normal kid and going to college. I didn't realize how pale he looked - despite his dark coloring, or his lack of hair. I didn't see the obvious staring in my face. The saying that "when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me" couldn't be closer to the truth. I thought he was just being a pampered boy with a cold who seemed to be unreceptive to conversation. I severely regret thinking like that. He's only 19. I wish I could take the college question back. It must have reminded him of what he might not be a ble to have. While I complain about college, he can't really. While I face concern about whether or not I'm going to be able to get a good gpa this quarter, he must be worrying about how much time he has left. I worry about when I'm ever going to find love, and he might never experience it at all. I'm 19 and I don't even think I've ever lived. If I die soon, I don't think I'd be happy with the life I've lead. Sure, I'd be content about how I lived my life, but I know I would have missed out on tons of things.

I'm not sure if his cancer is terminal or not. My dad didn't divulge into too much details, and I didn't want to ask any depressing questions. But from what he made it sound, it does seem like he has a tough road ahead of him. I can't imagine what his family is going through. He's just 19. You think that it's so young and that you have no worries while you're 19. My sister called me shortly after talking about her upset when seeing her ex at a party. I felt sad for her, but at the same time, problems like that seems simply insignificant. You think about the kind of things other people go through such as cancer, and the majority of problems you have and your peers talk to you about just seem petty and meaningless. You think you have all the time in the world, but in reality, you might not. While I see 19 as being my last year of teen hood, it might just be the last year period for some people.